Why, God, why?

One of my favorite movies of all time is Dogma. Written and directed by- and also starring- Kevin Smith, it turns religious notions on their ear. There is a disclaimer at the beginning not to take the movie so seriously, that even God has a sense of humor. It then goes on to offer the Platypus as proof that the Almighty is a bit of a comedian himself.

I have different ideas.

Since I was 13, I always thought proof that God not only has a (bizarre) sense of humor, but that He is decidedly male, is menstruation. Really, ladies, if God was a woman would She have come up with such a bass-ackwards, inconvenient, totally inefficient method of procreation? I think not.

Women are not alone, though, in the suffering from Aunt Flo's monthly visit. Just ask the guy who has a wife and more than one teen-age daughter. You can bet he has a calendar, in his garage or the back of his mind, that reminds him when to wear his hockey helmet!


My most recent reminder of the jovial nature of our maker is the presence of body hair.
Seriously, whether you are a man or a woman, as we age, we lose hair on our heads at alarming rates. Then it pops up in places we not only don't want, but have no possible need for!

I once took my son, who was about 5, along with me to a barber shop to get my nephew's hair cut. The two young boys giggled uncontrollably as the barber meticulously trimmed the bushy ear and nose hair of an elderly gentleman, while he also neatly sculpted the remaining 10 or 15 hairs on the man's head.

Yes, men get to look forward to ear hair, nose hair and clumps of hair popping up on their backs that look like roaming, vertical buffalo.

That, though, is nothing compared to what aging does to us girls.

I was visiting my sister recently, and as we were talking, I noticed a fine, blond coat of hair on her face. I laughed. Not at her, but with her, since my husband had just recently pointed out that very condition on my own face. Of course, I warned him he better not laugh, lest my hand slip next time I am weed-whacking his ear forest!

If left unchecked, my eyebrows will not only meet in the middle, but also up into my hairline. Besides the occasional random strand that goes from 1/8th inch to 3 in six hours, there is a mustache that graces the outer corners of my smile. (Orale, vato!)
I've never been much for primping in a mirror, but seriously, it's become necessary to avoid looking like Sasquatch's Bride!

God, Allah, Mother Nature, Intelligent Design...whatever! The maker of your chosen belief is sitting somewhere, enjoying some almighty good versions of Funniest Home Videos!